Why Therapy Might Not Work for You (Yet): The Hard Truth About Readiness

Therapy can be life-changing. It can help you understand yourself more deeply, process pain, and build a more grounded, fulfilling life. But let’s be honest, therapy isn’t a quick fix, and for some people, it doesn’t seem to “work.” At least, not yet.

Here’s the truth many people overlook- therapy only works when you’re ready for it.

Below are some honest reasons why therapy might not be helping right now, and what that says about where you are in your journey.

You're Hoping the Therapist Will Fix You

Therapists aren’t mechanics, and you’re not broken. If you’re turning up hoping to be “sorted out” without actively engaging, therapy can feel pointless.Therapy is a collaborative process which requires you to show up mentally and emotionally.

👉 Ask yourself: Am I expecting change without really participating in it?

You're Not Able to Be Honest With Yourself

Being open isn’t always easy. It’s natural to want to hide parts of yourself, especially the painful or messy bits. But therapy depends on honesty. If you’re only sharing what feels comfortable, your therapist is working with a limited picture.

👉 It’s not about revealing everything all at once—it’s about being real when it matters.

You Expect Immediate Results

Therapy isn’t instant. It’s a slow process, and sometimes, things get more uncomfortable before they start to improve. That’s often a sign that important work is happening beneath the surface.

👉 Are you willing to sit with the process—even when it feels tough or unclear?

You're Avoiding the Real Work

Therapy isn’t just about what happens in the session, it’s about how you reflect on those conversations afterwards. If you find yourself avoiding difficult thoughts, distracting yourself from emotional insights, or brushing off things that come up, that avoidance can block progress.

👉 Growth often happens in those quiet moments between sessions—if you're willing to face them.

You're in Survival Mode

If you're dealing with ongoing crisis—financial stress, housing instability, active addiction—it’s hard to focus on deeper emotional work. Your brain prioritises survival over self-reflection, and that’s valid.

👉 Sometimes, stabilising your life has to come before therapy can go deeper.

You Don’t Trust the Therapist

A strong therapeutic relationship is key. If you don’t feel safe, understood, or respected, it can be hard to open up.It’s okay to say when it’s not working. Finding the right therapist can take time.

👉 You deserve to feel safe and supported—don’t settle for less.

You're Not Clear on Why You’re There

If you’re unsure what you want from therapy, it can feel like going in circles. You don’t need to have all the answers, but having even a small sense of what you’d like to explore helps shape the work.

👉 Ask yourself: What do I hope will feel different in my life?

Ready to Begin?

If you’ve read this and something resonated or if you’re starting to feel ready to explore, to go deeper, or to face what you’ve been avoiding—you’re not alone.

I offer counselling in Basingstoke, and I’d like to walk alongside you in this work.If you feel like now might be the right time, get in touch to start a conversation.