How to Support Someone with Anxiety (Without Forgetting Yourself in the Process)

Watching someone you care about struggle with anxiety can be really tough. You want to help, to say the right things, to ease their distress—but sometimes, no matter what you do, it feels like you’re walking on eggshells.

First, let me say this: if you’re supporting someone with anxiety, you’re already making a difference just by being there. Anxiety can feel isolating, and knowing that someone cares is incredibly powerful. But it’s also important to recognise that supporting someone with anxiety can be emotionally draining, and your well-being matters too.

How to Be There for Someone with Anxiety

✅ 1. Listen & Validate

One of the most helpful things you can do is simply listen—without rushing to fix things. Anxiety often comes with a whirlwind of irrational thoughts, and while it might be tempting to say, “That’s not true” or “You don’t need to worry about that”, this can sometimes make someone feel unheard. Instead, try:

💬 “I can see this is really tough for you.”

💬 “That sounds overwhelming—do you want to talk about it?”

Validation doesn’t mean you have to agree with their fears—it just means acknowledging their feelings as real and valid.

✅ 2. Offer Reassurance (But Keep It Real)

Reassurance is important, but it’s best when it’s grounded in truth. Instead of saying, “Everything will be fine” (which might feel dismissive), try:

💙 “I know this is hard, but I believe in you.”

💙 “You’ve got through tough times before, and I’m here for you now.”

Anxiety can make people feel like they’re drowning—your calm presence can be a lifeline.

✅ 3. Respect Their Boundaries

Anxiety can make certain situations feel overwhelming. Instead of pushing someone to "just do it" or face their fears before they’re ready, ask:

❓ “How can I support you?”

❓ “Would it help if I came with you?”

❓ “What do you need from me right now?”

This gives them control over their own healing while still letting them know you're there.

✅ 4. Encourage Healthy Coping Strategies

Sometimes, when someone is struggling with anxiety, their go-to coping mechanisms may not be the healthiest (like avoiding situations altogether). You can gently encourage more helpful approaches like:

🌿 Breathing exercises

📓 Journaling

🚶‍♀️ Going for a walk

🧘‍♂️ Meditation or mindfulness

If they’re open to it, you could even try these activities together—turning self-care into a shared experience.

What NOT to Do When Someone Has Anxiety

❌ 1. Don’t Say “Just Relax” or “Stop Worrying”

If only it were that easy! Anxiety isn’t a choice, and telling someone to "relax" often just makes them feel worse.

❌ 2. Don’t Minimise Their Feelings

Saying things like “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not that bad” can make someone feel invalidated. Instead, acknowledge their emotions—even if you don’t fully understand them.

❌ 3. Don’t Pressure Them

Forcing someone into an anxiety-inducing situation before they’re ready won’t “fix” them—it will likely make them retreat further. Support, don’t push.

❌ 4. Don’t Shift the Focus to Yourself

It can be tempting to say, “I get anxious too” or “I know exactly how you feel”, but everyone experiences anxiety differently. Instead of shifting the conversation to your own experiences, just listen and support them in their moment of need.

Looking After Yourself While Supporting Someone with Anxiety

It’s natural to want to be there for someone, but you can’t pour from an empty cup. Supporting a loved one with anxiety can be emotionally demanding, so remember to:

💛 Set boundaries—It’s okay to take a step back when you need to.

💛 Take breaks—Make time for activities that help you recharge.

💛 Seek support—Talking to a counsellor can help you manage the emotional toll of caregiving.

You don’t have to do this alone. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, or if you’d like support on how to support a loved one while maintaining your own well-being, I offer counselling in Basingstoke and can help you navigate this journey.

How My Counselling in Basingstoke Can Help

Whether you’re struggling with anxiety yourself or supporting someone who is, you deserve support too. In my counselling sessions, I provide a safe, non-judgmental space to explore your thoughts, feelings, and challenges.

I can help you:

✔️ Understand anxiety and how it affects both you and your loved one

✔️ Develop strategies to manage your own stress while supporting others

✔️ Set healthy boundaries without guilt

If you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen. Check out my website to find out more about me or to book a session.