Anxiety and Social Situations: Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety

If social situations leave you feeling anxious, nervous, or even overwhelmed, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Social anxiety is something many people experience, and it can be really challenging, especially when it feels like everyone else is just breezing through social interactions without a second thought.

I get it. The fear of judgment, the pressure to say the right thing, or just the overwhelming feeling of being watched – it’s exhausting. But here’s the thing: it doesn’t have to control you. Together, we can explore some practical, gentle ways to navigate social gatherings, reduce that fear of judgment, and start building the self-confidence that will allow you to feel more at ease in social situations.

It’s Okay to Feel Anxious – You Don’t Have to Be Perfect

I want to start by saying this: it’s perfectly okay to feel anxious. In fact, many people feel the same way. We’re often our own harshest critics, worrying about how we come across, what people think, or whether we’ll say the wrong thing. But here’s a little secret – most people are not focused on you nearly as much as you think. They’re likely just as concerned about how they’re coming across, too.

Next time you feel that judgmental voice creeping in, try to remind yourself that it’s okay not to be perfect. In fact, perfection is an illusion. We all stumble, we all make mistakes, and that’s what makes us human. If you find yourself feeling anxious, try to gently shift your focus. Instead of worrying about how others perceive you, try to focus on how you can be present in the moment.

Take Small Steps – One Step at a Time

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the thought of big social gatherings or unfamiliar environments. If this sounds like you, start small. Think of it as baby steps. Maybe a casual coffee with a friend or attending a smaller event first is a good place to start. Over time, these small moments of social interaction will help build your confidence, little by little.

If you have a bigger event coming up, take a moment to break it down into manageable parts. You don’t have to do everything perfectly or be the life of the party. Just take it one conversation at a time, one small interaction at a time. And remember, it’s okay to take breaks if you need to – self-care is so important.

Breathe, Slow Down, and Regain Control

When anxiety takes over, our bodies respond by going into "fight or flight" mode, often causing our breath to become shallow or rapid. When you notice this happening, take a pause. Breathe deeply—in through your nose for a count of four, hold for four, and then exhale slowly for four. Even just a few deep breaths can help ground you and ease that nervous energy.

You might not be able to control every aspect of the situation, but you can control your breath. And this small act of mindfulness can have a big impact on how you feel in the moment.

Focus on the Here and Now – It’s All About the Present Moment

Anxiety often happens when we’re caught up in worrying about what might happen in the future. Will I make a fool of myself? Will people judge me? But here’s something important to remember – the moment you’re in right now is what matters most. Instead of thinking ahead to what might happen, focus on the conversation or the people around you. Listen, engage, and be present. It’s okay if there are pauses or moments of silence – it’s all part of the flow.

If you catch yourself spiralling into worries about how things will unfold, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. You don’t need to have everything figured out, and you don’t have to be perfect in every conversation. Just be here now.

It’s Okay to Prepare, But Let Go of Perfection

It can help to have a little preparation going into social events. Maybe think of a couple of topics you’d like to talk about, or questions you can ask others to keep the conversation flowing. But remember, it’s not about having a perfect script – it’s about connecting with others in a way that feels natural for you.

If you don’t know exactly what to say or you feel like you’ve said something wrong, don’t be too hard on yourself. Social situations are dynamic, and people will rarely remember the little things you worry about. It’s the connection that matters most, and that doesn’t have to be flawless.

Be Kind to Yourself – You’re Doing Your Best

One of the hardest things about social anxiety is the self-criticism that comes with it. When we feel anxious, it’s easy to believe we’re somehow “failing” at social interactions. But the truth is, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough. Remind yourself that you’re showing up, you’re trying, and that in itself is a victory.

If things don’t go perfectly, that’s okay too. Give yourself the same compassion you’d give to a close friend. You’re human, and social situations are sometimes challenging for everyone, even those who seem like they have it all together.

Celebrate Every Victory – No Matter How Small

Every step you take to push past anxiety deserves celebration. Whether you’ve had a great conversation with someone, or even just managed to attend an event, give yourself credit for showing up. These small victories are worth acknowledging, because they’re all part of your journey toward feeling more comfortable in social settings.

Social anxiety can feel isolating at times, but it doesn’t have to take over your life. You don’t have to struggle through it alone – with the right support and tools, it’s possible to feel more confident and comfortable in social situations.

If you’re finding social situations overwhelming and would like some guidance on how to manage your anxiety, I’m here to help. I offer counselling in Basingstoke and would be honoured to support you as we work together to find the tools and strategies that can help you feel more at ease in social settings.

Please feel free to reach out to me at Annie Best Counselling. You don’t have to do this alone – I’m here for you.